Ruined for the Ordinary

Walking the walk

2011-11-09T08:28:00.000-08:00

In starting up a Neighborhood Transformation program it is necessary to change your mindset of how you think you know what is best for the neighborhood. You are an outsider and have no idea on what it may be like to live there let alone the struggles that families may have. Many of us come from and live in a middle class area and have been blessed beyond measure. When going into an area that is not similar to our own we cannot expect the people there to conform to what we think and believe. We have to accept them where they are. Many are very smart and talented just as you or I may be. Some questions we ask are:

Why do they choose to live in a bad area? Why don’t they get a better job? Why don’t they take care of their kids the way we do? Why don’t they go to the church for help? Why don’t they just get away from the drugs and alcohol? Why don’t they clean up their neighborhood? If they hate being poor why don't they do something about it?

The questions they ask are? Why are they so snobby? Why do they look down on us? Why won’t they shake my hand? Why do they think they are better than us? If they are Christians why don’t they act like it? Why wont they walk in my neighborhood? Why do they judge me without knowing me? Why do they come here looking for drugs? If they are so smart why are they in so much debt?

These are just a sample of some of the questions I personally have been asked over the past few months. It breaks my heart because I used to be the one in the first set of questions. Now I could care less because I do my best at looking at everyone as someone who is made in the image of God. When you look at people that way it changes how you think. You stop judging and start loving.

I am feeling led to really open up and share my views on various topics because I know that many are probably to afraid of what may happen to them if they share a viewpoint that may be contradictory to those they may socialize with. It is alright if people do not agree with me and I strive to do something that most will not are cannot do and that is to actually do something.

So if you want to be changed and be Ruined for the Ordinary I ask that you follow this blog at www.gelston.blogspot.com and sign up to get this via email. Your comments are fully welcomed so if you get the blog email and want me to post your comment met me know and I will. Or you can go to the above link and comment directly on the post.

The next blog will be on why I don’t need to have a Sunday Worship Service! Catchy Title?

Change

2011-11-06T19:52:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I have to admit that I was struggling emotionally. It had been a really quiet and depressing week for me since I had surgery and have been confined to my house. Not a lot of people to talk other than my family " love them" for dealing with me. I was really feeling that no one cared about me and that I was just absolutely worthless to anyone and that included my family, I needed a change and decided that I needed to get out of my house and go into the real world for some conversation. I voyaged down the street and started talking to God about all the stuff going on in m my mind. About 20 minutes later I found myself at the corner shopping center and thought that I could find someone to chat with at the donut shop. Well no one was there to chat with but I did get a nice cup of coffee. I decided to continue to walk around the area and said hello to a few people but did not get a response from and of them. Why did no one want to even say hello? The feeling of worthlessness just kept getting worse. Moping along with my head held low I kept looking at the ground in hopes that I would find some change. (one of the quirky things I do) When I focused on something other than myself I found a penny! That one penny turned into a nickel, then I found 20 cents! It was a great find but that did not take the place of conversation. I decided to walk home and within a minute I ran across a guy pushing a shopping cart. Cool I will talk to him! As we met he moved over to one side and told him that it was to ok there was plenty of room. He responded in Spanish. He began to tell me that he was working. He was collecting cans from the dumpsters and needed to because he lost his eye and no one would hire a one eyed man. The thing that tripped me out was he said all of this in Spanish and we carried on a small conversation. I had not used my Spanish in a while but it just rolled off my tongue. The thing I so needed was found in a man who had nothing, who took time to talk to me, who could give nothing back but the love of Jesus. Why do I say this? He told me that Jesus loved me. As he walked away I remembered that everything is not about me. The change I needed was a change of my own heart. This was confirmed as I continued on my way home and I found one more penny. It takes just one thing to change someone.

2011-09-22T13:14:00.000-07:00

I have prayed a long time about sharing my personal thoughts on various subjects and I have been lead to start sharing. The things I post are in no way personal attacks but just observations and should be taken as that. Comments are always welcome!

Is God pleased with the amount of money that goes into the local building where Christians meet, to the amount of money that goes back out to further the gospel? I have been to many facilities over the past few years seeking support for ministry efforts but have not been successful. The only success we have found has been from people who see our desire and willingness to serve and give out of love. For that we are truly thankful!

Many wonder what is wrong with the local establishment. I can only narrow it down to a few things that have been noticed.

1. No budget for missions
2. Debt
3. Missionaries are a thing of the past
4. Your not part of us so why should we support you.
5. We are all missionaries

So many establishments preach tithing and how you wont be blessed if you dont give. Remember the bible tells us bring yout tithe 10% to the storehouse so it can be used to support those that preach and teach and to be used to help those in need when times are bad. My question is how many establishmemts would survive if all of a sudden no money came in one to two to three months? Do they have the resources to stay afloat or would they close. If a disaster hit are they prepared to help the community or would they turn their people away due to lack of money in savings.

If the establishment does not use its money in a way that is truly going back out to further the gospel then how can they call themselves Christians. In the 1920's 10% of every dollar received was given to missionaries. Today that is down to less than 2%.

That could actually be looked at as a 80% decrease in spreading the gospel. Kind of scary? I think so.

(the establishment is also known as the building. The word church is actually the people not the building)

Loneliness

2011-06-21T12:23:00.000-07:00

I have been pondering over an issue that seems to be applicable to most of society today and the is Loneliness. There are many causes for this such as feeling of Unwanted, Inner emptiness, Isolation, Intense longing, Rejected, Misunderstood, Sad, Discouraged, Restless and
Anxious just to name a few. I look at my own life back when I was growing up and all of these feelings were present. Then I wonder how many other people felt the same way and came to realize that we all at some point in our lives we all feel this way. Looking back to a time not so long ago families and neighbors spent time together, they were happy because they interacted. When was the last time you spent some quality time with your family or friends and turned off all the technology? Spending a little uninterupted time with someone can make a difference and will help eliminate these feelings not only thiers but yours as well.

Outreach

2010-11-10T08:19:00.000-08:00

I was thinking about all that has happened over the past few weeks so I have decided to attach the following link that shows a 3 minute video that visually explains what I cannot express in words. When you click on the link it will take you a page on our website and the video can be found right in the middle of the page.
http://salvagedlives.org/id4.html

I have also included another link that is a letter from a friend of mine who joined me. The letter speaks for itself.

http://www.salvagedlives.org/id15.html

God is good all the time! I have started on our next newsletter and will be sharing more about this experience and how God is working in our lives!

What do you see?

2010-10-28T14:00:00.000-07:00

Every day God moves me way out of my own comfort zone to show compassion to the people in our communities that many people pretend are not there. I have often wondered how someone becomes homeless and what they do to survive. I have started to ask that very question to people in hopes that they will share their thoughts. The man in this photo is George. George has been homeless now for two years. He told me that it was our Governors fault that he is now living on the streets. According to George his benefits were cut by 50% leaving him with about $700 a month to live on so he had no choice but to actually become homeless. George sleeps in the local parks. As it gets colder outside he wonders if he will make it thru this winter because of his health issues. A few months ago he was found in a park very close to death and was told that he needed to get off the streets or he will die. You may look at the photo and see that he is in a power wheelchair and may think where does he get the electricity to power his chair? He is able to plug in his chair at local fast food restaurants but only if he buys something. When he runs out of money he turns to the street corners and asks for help. I asked him what we could do for him spiritually and all he wanted was a prayer that he would be kept safe. George is a Christian and knows that Christ is looking out for him and he thanked me for taking the time to just talk to him. How many times do you look at a person holding a sign and think to your self the following words: Drug Addict, Alcoholic, Bum, Scammer, Loser ect ect ect. How many times do you say that he or she is Gods child or fellow Christian.

Just a random thought

2010-10-19T11:42:00.000-07:00

So this morning we were woken up by this massive thunder, lighting and rain storm which is pretty rare where we live. It is so cool to actually hear the sounds of real weather. The air is clean and the plants and grass seem to come to life and look brighter than usual. This is what all of us should look like everyday. But reality is that many people seem to just go through the daily motions and feel like this is what life is. An overwhelming problem that faces many people is loneliness and the cure for that is to make an effort to go visit them or take the time to listen when they talk to us. When was the last time you went to visit someone for no other reason but to see how they are doing or took ten minutes to listen to a friend or a stranger. You know that you feel good when someone does it to you so be a blessing to someone today and step out of your routine and make a difference in their life and in yours.

Happy Hour

2010-03-15T11:00:00.001-07:00

During the past month I have been attending an event on Wednesday nights in Bakersfield called Happy Hour! Probably the first thing that pops into one reading this is that I have been frequenting a bar and am completely off track. Well that is not the case.

I have found myself in Bakersfield once a week attending the Wednesday night service at Crossroads. Mainly I started going to build relationships with the people who we are training for the Neighborhood transformation program but I have found myself really enjoying worshiping with them and praying with them. This church decided to do something different and that was to change the way they had been doing things in the past and try something new. Happy hour is a result of that change. The main focus now is almost one hour of worship music and prayer at the altar. The teaching time has been cut down to about 20 to 30 min. The offering trays are placed down by the altar and you can give when you feel led to. The amazing thing is as an outsider you can see the people change the way they worship when they can just pour out their love for Christ without being worried about getting to the next item on the agenda.

Every church I go to has its own way of doing things and I personally do not see one right way to do it. The most important thing is they believe that Jesus died on the cross for their sins and their belief in Him and their faith in Him is the only way into heaven. No matter who we are and what we have done he wants a relationship with us. None of us are any better than the person who is next to us. We all look the same in Gods eyes and we should remember to show each other the love He showed us.

Acting

2009-12-22T14:58:00.000-08:00

This past Sunday I was sitting in church when my phone started to buzz. I saw that I had a text from my friend asking me to do something for him. His world was turned upside down this past week when his Mother had been placed in the hospital due to major infection that caused her to go on life support. Friday the family decided after reading a will, to remove her from life support and they were told that she should pass away soon. 48 hours later she was still alive but had no brain functions. He asked me to come and pray over her and ask God to either heal her or take her. I immediately looked and Christian, showed him the text and we looked at each other and left for the hospital.

I have never really been in this position before but was so glad that he called me to do something for him. I was at the hospital in under 20 min and when I arrived he was not there but his brother was. I had met him a few times before and I was wondering what to say to him. I just asked God to give me the words and I really didn't have to say much, I just listened and ministered to him. I prayed for Betty looking at her the whole time and knew that it was time for her go home and be with the Lord. When I had finished I left with a joy in my own heart of just felling that the Lord used me for something.

How many times do we get preoccupied with life we choose to tune out our friends, our families, strangers and most importantly God.

Betty went home to be with the Lord this morning at 7:30.

Relief or Betterment

2009-11-30T16:43:00.001-08:00

So when do we provide relief? Today I was in a little strip mall and saw a older man asking people for change. He came up to me and asked me for some change and stated that he was hungry and had not eaten. I asked him where he would like to go eat at. He was actually kind of shocked since people were rejecting him. We went into Subway and I told him to order whatever he would like. While chit chatting I saw that he was pretty well groomed and did not reek of booze so, I asked him why he was hungry. He explained that it was the end of the month and was out of money. He moved into a new senior apt with his wife earlier on the month and between the deposit and rent he just ended up short. He then asked me if he could order a foot long so he could take half back to his wife so she could enjoy a treat since the last thing they had to eat was pinto beans and rice. I paid for the sandwich and he reached out and shook my hand in front of the people and said thank you and may God bless you.

So many times we look at people, judge them and ignore them. I wanted to engage him in conversation to see if there was a chance to do more than just provide immediate relief. By really taking an interest in people and showing them the love of Christ the way He would have done it, only then do we find ourselves meeting the true needs of people.

The real issue is: Are we willing????

Signs

2009-11-14T12:27:00.000-08:00

Recently I was at a church in Bakersfield California to see a fellow GEM missionary have his dedication ceremony. Upon leaving the service I stumbled across this sign while leaving the property.

Almost all of the churches that we have been going to seem to have a new focus on what they call Missions and that is the local community. I believe that this is a good move to reach the lost in the local area but am concerned about the impact it is having on reaching the lost in different parts of the world. Did you know that the U.S. has more missionaries coming here from other countries than the amount of U.S. missionaries going oversees.

I think of Europe and that less than 1% of the people would identify themselves as Christians. So where is the real mission field? Here in the US we have every opportunity to attend a worship service because in just about every city there is an overabundance of local churches reaching out to the same community. Whereas lets say in Kosovo it is hard to even find Christian.

If our churches move on this path of just reaching the lost in their own community than how do we impact the world????

But in looking at another view. The U.S. dollar is really weak against the foreign major currency
called the Euro. So missionaries going to most European countries lose about 50% of the money they raise just in the exchange rate. So is it more feasible to become a full time missionary here in the U.S.? Is the church just being good stewards by staying within our borders, especially if your ministry is directed to high poverty areas.

This seems to be the questions for the season----- What do you think?

Think About It

2009-10-27T11:06:00.001-07:00

A worldview is a set of assumptions held consciously or unconsciously in faith about the basic makeup of the world and how the world works.

Our worldview affects the way we take in information. Everyone has a worldview, even though many people do not consciously think about their worldview. A worldview is not merely a vision of life, but it is also a vision for life. Our worldview determines our values. It helps us interpret the world around us. It sorts out what is important and what is not, what is of highest value form what is least.

It is amazing how much of our spiritual battle is in our beliefs.

Community Health Evangelism

2009-10-14T19:50:00.000-07:00

Many people have been asking the recent training that Linda went to and that I will be attending later this month. Here is a brief explanation of what CHE is all about. Over 400 different agencies have used this program since it was first developed in the early 1980's.

CHE (Community Health Evangelism) is a true best practices model for integrating evangelism and discipleship with community based development. The first programs were done in Africa in the 1980s.CHE was then taken to other parts of the world where it proved adaptable to a wide-range of situations. Today CHE is being used around the world by churches, denominations, mission agencies, non-government organizations, and national and local governments to lift whole communities out of cycles of poverty and disease. The work is wholistic, seeking to meet the whole need of individuals and communities through complete obedience to everything that Jesus commanded.

The training that Linda and I are doing now is aimed at understanding the Biblical basis for CHE and basic principles of wholistic community based development. We will learn the steps for implementing CHE, how to choose a target community, and strategies for entering the community. Also learning basic skills for raising awareness, organizing, and mobilizing the community for cooperative action through the formation of a development committee.

Looking to the near future Linda will be visiting some Neighborhood transformation sites in the LA County area.

JULY 2009 Ruined for the Ordinary

2009-08-04T18:16:00.000-07:00

JULY 2009 Ruined for the Ordinary

It takes a lot of change to forge a new nation. These changes don’t happen overnight or in a year or even in ten years. Yet, Kosovo has surged forward on a number of things. This young nation has been accepted into the International Monetary Fund which allows funding for development loans. Several additional nations have accepted their independence including Jordan, one of three Muslim countries. The present government has been able to persuade participants of the Serbia police force that turned in their badges upon Independence to return to their jobs. In some areas Serbs are moving back into homes and in most of Kosovo a semblance of piece reigns. However, in the North around the border small skirmishes and lawlessness persists even while UN withdraws and the EU takes over. Serb areas are doing without electricity over battles regarding new electricity legislation and many are suffering from the new strict guide lines hampering the black market import and export of items because of customs taxes. Taxes. Welcome to having a democratic government.

In every country, especially developing ones, there appears to be the ethnic or religious group that gets left behind in the development and are most affected by poverty or economic hardships. Even though many in Kosovo live way below the poverty line there is a group that seems to be on the bottom rung and has caused quite a stir with the Human Rights Watch. Just to be clear on the subject this group, the Roma or gypies, are considered the most oppressed group in all of the Balkans. Montenegro’s capital city holds the largest Roma refugee camp in the Balkans. However, with World Refugee Day it was estimated more than 2,000 Roma are trapped in the worst conditions around all of Kosovo.

In Kosovo with the investigation of “an institutionalized crime against the Roma” people in Mitrovica, (London Observer) it is estimated that over 700 Roma live by the dams of an old lead mine next to “black mountain” an old toxic heap. These camps were interestingly enough build by the UN during the war as temporary housing. It is now ten years later and we have a generation of children growing up with some of the worst health conditions in Kosovo. What is amazing to me is that the Kosovo government which is most decidedly Muslim, is starting to work directly with OSCE (The Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe) to solve the problem. We look at this small nation and it’s concern for involvement for Serbs, Albanians and yes even the Roma. Not necessarily willingly but necessary because all of the world is watching and waiting to see how this new country will solve its racial and religious differences. Maybe world scrutiny isn’t so bad after all.

Even though we miss our home church, visiting other churches has become more a part of our life and we are finding it really a powerful growth experience. Most of the churches we have attended are pretty sound in doctrine. What is interesting is the difference in procedure or Sunday format.

A couple of weeks ago we went to a very poor church in Bakersfield. They use an old church building in one of the worst parts of town. Their ministry is to the drug addicts, alcoholics, bikers, street people and the runaways. Their pastor, decorated out with tattoos, was himself delivered from the “bonds of addiction”, as he would say. We decided to visit this particular church because we had heard that the Holy Spirit was working wonders there. And indeed He is. This particular Sunday the church was visited by a group called Teen Challenge. This ministry/recovery program is made up of men and women that who at one time would have been called productive people in society: mothers, young adults from Christian families, professionals, 30 people from all over the US. These people had turned to drugs, prostitution, theft and worst to eliminate their pain. Through Teen Challenge they were being led to Christ and showing powerful results. This day, there was never a structured service as you would find in a majority of churches. During the worship music, the pastor gave the service over to the Holy Spirit. The pastor than called for repentance and growth, he challenged the men to be leaders, to step forward with their families: To shed ego and to bend to the will of God in Humility. We felt it. We tried to remain still. We were visitors. Yet Garold stood, leading us before the alter, to bow in prayer. We were enveloped in a strong awareness of conviction covered with a deep feeling of love.

Why did this happen here at this church? Maybe, because these people had nothing more to lose. They have been humiliated and humbled in their lives. Maybe because they are what society would consider the worst of the crop and are beyond what most of us see as desperation in life. Maybe, because they fell so far and understand salvation as truly lifesaving, here on earth and in Heaven. Whatever caused it, the Spirit was there. A Pentecostal church? No. An evangelical church focused only on the power of the simpleness of God’s Word. This is what we desire to be a part of in Kosovo: A church dealing with the raw power of God.

In traveling around America, we have found that there is little space between churches. In Bakersfield, driving to the worst area of town we passed three very large churches and countless little ones in about five miles. We are lucky like that here in our country. But where we desire to go to, there are few churches. Less than .01% of Albanians in Kosovo are evangelical. Most have never heard the real story of Jesus. Many Christians live in isolation, not knowing if anyone else in their village is a Christian. Church development and planting is essential so that these people can also have the privilege of feeling the warmth of fellowship or the power of the Holy Spirit in Corporate worship. These are the lost sheep in the world Christ is trying to gather. He needs planters and harvesters.

1) This is God’s mission, not ours
2) God works in ways we cannot see the results even as they are happening
3) God has a timing and cannot be slowed down or rushed
4) God is teaching us to stand in faith and learn to wait but not to be useless

20 years

2009-05-09T12:03:00.001-07:00

I woke up on Thursday morning as usual and got ready for work. I was not sure why this day was different. The only thing I could think of was Linda was up at 4:30am. It was really cool to sit and have a cup of coffee with her before I left for work. I was telling her that I thought it was my 20 year anniversary that day but wasnt sure. We kind of laughed about it. Then I went to work. About 7am my boss texted me to wish me a happy 20th anniversary and then reality set in. I have spent almost half my life working for Ecolab and this year I will have spent half of my life being married to Linda. Time just really goes by so fast. I wonder if I will be able to spend 20 years in Kosovo? Only time will tell!

To Serve or not to Serve

2009-02-28T13:58:00.000-08:00

Do you ever wonder if you are really serving? Each day we make choices to either serve others or just serve ourselves. Over the past several months I have been making it a point to stop and pray to Jesus to see how I can best be used in any given situation. My secular job is a service oriented position that requires me to respond to our customers whenever they have problems and my role is to give them the best service I can no matter what it takes to get whatever issue they had resolved. Do we as Christians view our service to Christ the same way? More and more I have found myself being pulled “behind the scenes” the one who is the worker, serving others without recognition. I cannot express how much joy that I receive being in this role. I pray for these opportunities because I know that Christ will use me somehow. Even today while cleaning and cooking for our men’s breakfast I met two men and shared my testimony with them separately and it probably would not have happened if my choice would have been to join the breakfast. Are we looking for those kinds of opportunities or do we just want to be the one being served. I think to a passage in Scripture John 4 6-8 So Jesus, being wearied from His journey, was sitting thus by the well. It was about the sixth hour. 7 There came a woman of Samaria to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give Me a drink.” 8 For His disciples had gone away into the city to buy food. Could Jesus have traveled with the others? Of course! But He chose to stay. He was available for her. He started up a conversation and began to minister to her. How often do we do that? My question is why did all the disciples need to go to the city to buy the food? Were they too busy socializing with each other to see how they could be used or was it that they put themselves above the people of the area? Is what you are doing really giving glory to God?

ZEKE

2009-01-30T14:51:00.000-08:00

Meet Zeke! This is Christian's new dog that he decided to adopt today. How is it that Dad is the last to know about these things. I went to pick up the boy from our friends house where he works once a week and he meets me with his new friend. It was really funny to see Christian trying to get me to say hi to the dog because he knew that I would not say no. "Love the dog" I remind myself. God brings things to us when we need them and I know that this dog will be a blessing to us while we are here.

EEEK

2009-01-26T07:55:00.000-08:00

Ok. So I just looked at my blog and saw that I have not been writing anything. I thought to myself there is no way that I have not written since the end of October. The truth is in the writing aka none. While I know that I have been busy writing it has just been in different places, mainly newsletters and updating our website this bog has fallen short. Things have actually been going pretty well for us in many ways since my last post. We have gained ground in our support raising and have been truly amazed where the support has come from. While I continue to pray that God would open up the hearts of individuals in my own church family to partner with us , it has been so encouraging to see God bring people to us that truly have a vision for missions who we don't even know. God is good!!!!! It has been such a interesting walk and I have went through every emotion possible and know that I will still go through every emotion possible while being comforted and reassured by God each and every minuite. Kids please pay attention in school it is no fun trying to learn math at 42. Just a thought.

Trip

2008-10-23T07:29:00.001-07:00

We are currently in Macedonia attending the joint AIM/AEP Assembly. This is a meeting available for missionaries that serve in Kosovo and Albania. There are about 200 people here not including children. I was really impressed to see how many national missionaries there are in Albania and their goal is to go to all of the countries where the Albanians fled to during the times of war. They really feel a burden to have their people know Christ. What happens at an Assembly? The days start off with worship and then a morning devotional. Break time for coffee and sweets. Morning message from a pastor that is from Budapest and then it is time for lunch and then afternoon business sessions. One of the main reasons for Linda and I coming on this trip was to serve at the Assembly. I have been in charge of announcements and running the computer during the main sessions. It was not the easiest thing to do as I had to run praise songs in Albanian. Not easy to do when you can't speak the language. Linda has been busy setting up for the breaks and helping minister to the children while their parents have been in the meetings. Today is Thursday and we are leaving the Assembly tonight and driving back to Kosovo. We will be staying the next two days with another GEM teammate who just arrived last month to work in Kosova. Tomorrow we have been invited by the field director to travel to a village and participate in an outreach event. I will have another update after the event. Please pray for safe travels and for the outreach event. Blessings!!!

2008-10-19T02:17:00.001-07:00

Here is a quick update on our travels to Kosovo. We arrived after a really long flight late Friday afternoon to find out that our luggage did not. Bummer! As of today it is still nowhere to be found. We have had such a great time getting to know our Field Directors Suzy and Ernie Penner and can't wait to get here to work full time with them. We took a walk yesterday around the city of Vushtri. This is one of the oldest cities in Kosovo and saw some landmarks that go back to the 1400's. We also went to a nearby village to see a different side of Kosovo. Simplicity would best describe village life. Today is Sunday and we are going to the BPZ church in Prishtina. More updates to come!

Kids Update

2008-10-07T14:02:00.001-07:00

When I was at a friend's house I was going downstairs. When I thought it was the last step I put my foot out. It hit the air and it hit another step. I was shocked. That is what it feels like with God. Just as I feel I am at the last step it just keeps on going and I don't know where it will end. I thought we were there and now it looks longer. We are almost there.

Bye,
Ashley

Hey everybody! Wow, we have come a loooooooong way since my last letter. Just a little rehash of what has happened in the last few weeks: my dream of being able to fly a plane came true on Memorial Day. I flew for about an hour and a half in a Cessna with Dad and a friend named Fuzzy. Later that week, my parents went to Bakersfield and saw my brother play in a concert in which he was able to share God's grace. I have been busy with schoolwork and a college course called "Philosophy of Religion." It is difficult but in a good way. I have also been hanging out with friends and just being a kid. But when I feel like everything is ok and that all is going to be fine,
I remember that I will be leaving to go to a different country and I am reminded that everything I do here will leave an impression when I leave. Will that be a good impression or will it be bad? God has been taking a little longer than I thought He would, which is a little depressing. I am caught in a realm where I want to live my life here with friends and grow up and just be a normal kid. And then I want to go and be a part of what God has for Kosova. I mean, who knows what miracles I might miss out on? So, what do I do, God? "Wait on me. I will renew you when you feel down, give you strength when you are weary, and be a support when you fall." God is good. I have been taught that since I was three. But through all these experiences, I have lived it. I know that God will be there, and it is reassuring.

Please pray that God will continue to support us financially with donations from individuals. Please pray that God will help me to be honest with myself that it will be hard to let go but that God will let me grab hold of him. Let go of America, grab hold of Kosova. Let go of the world, grab hold of God. Praise God for allowing my parents to see my nephew Corey, whom I haven't seen in four long years. Praise God for continuing to shower us with blessings of donations and supporters. And remember……
"God is good all the time, and all the time
GOD IS GOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!"

What we should be like

2008-09-21T16:53:00.001-07:00

Author Unknown

"I'm a part of the "fellowship of the unashamed." The die has been cast. I
have stepped over the line. The decision has been made.

I'm a disciple of His and I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away,
or be still.

My past is redeemed. My present makes sense. My future is secure.

I'm done and finished with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth
knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living, and
dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or
popularity.

I don't have to be right, or first, or tops, or recognized, or praised, or
rewarded.

I live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and
labor by Holy Spirit power.

My face is set. My gait is fast. My goal is heaven.

My road may be narrow, my way rough, my companions few, but my guide is
reliable and my mission is clear.

I will not be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back,
deluded or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice or hesitate in the presence of
the adversary.

I will not negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of
popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won't give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up,
prayed up, paid up, and preached up for the cause of Christ.

I am a disciple of Jesus!

I must give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes.

And when He does come for His own, He'll have no problems recognizing me. My
colors will be clear!"

Being Available

2008-08-09T13:54:00.001-07:00

This last Wednesday my family and I had the opportunity to be used by God. Linda had received a call from a lady early that afternoon asking for a ride to church. Linda told her that we would be glad give her a ride. When we picked her up we had no idea what would transpire in a 5 minute car ride. She started to tell us about all the major things that were going on her life and how she was looking to Christ for help. While she was talking Linda had asked her if she had ever accepted Christ as her Savior. She kind of beat around the bush and then said that she was waiting for a good time to do it. I told her we could take care of that right now. To our amazement she told us that she would like to pray to receive Christ as her personal Savior. Linda lead her in prayer and she became a Christian right in our car! What a cool thing for a family to be part of! All of us together, seeing and being part of a salvation experience. We are so thankful to have been chosen to help this person come to know Christ.

An hour of thoughts

2008-06-21T08:14:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up very early and decided to go for a walk before the sun came up. I spent the time just thinking and praying about my life and wondering how God is using me. While I fully want to be across the world in Kosovo, I know that God has a reason for us to be here, waiting patiently on Him to fulfil the vision He has given my family and I. I look back over the past year and see how God has truly blessed us as. The Father has fulfilled the prayers that we have asked of Him. We never thought that we would find a missions group that would allow us to do the work that we feel called to do. Greater Europe Mission was the answer to that prayer. How will we ever raise financial support. We have almost all of our transition funds and are 40% of monthly support. Prayer answered! Will we find people who can will minister to us when we are down and rejoice with us when things are going great. Prayer answered! This last one is the thing that we feel so thankful for and we are truly blessed!!! We are growing as a family. God is teaching us here and using us in ways we may never know while on this journey and the thing that we need to continue to focus on, is that God will fulfil His promise but on His timetable not ours.

Thoughts

2008-05-17T06:47:00.000-07:00

Spending time alone with God is so wonderful! I have been sitting here this morning just reflecting on my life and thinking about how it has really changed. 10 years ago Linda and I were starting the process of adopting a child and as I look back on that it was the best thing for us to do. God brought us Christian and Ashley. HE had taken four different people and wanted them to become a family and He had a reason for them to come together. Fast forward to today and with God in control of our lives we see how far he had brought us. I am still in shock that He is leading my family to Kosovo so we can share our lives with the people there but mostly to share Jesus with them. At times I wonder if it is the right thing to do but He has not lead us astray so far so why not go. I just wish that we could take our close friends with us. Christian and I were talking about our friends yesterday and his concern was that when we leave they will forget us. I told him that I have the same concern as he does. We know a lot of people but who will really be there for you when you need someone. As a man your best friend is your wife and the wife's is her husband. Then you seek out a few people that you want to be a part of your life. The hardest part is finding those people and when you find them you don't want to lose them. If I desire that for myself ,then look at my son and daughter and the friends that they have, I want to make sure that they keep those close friendships going no matter where we are. In 10 years from now our children will probably be married and starting lives of their own and facing the challanges of being a parent. Will the friends they have now be part of thier lives? Will are close friends still be part of our lives? I sure hope so!

Small Church America

2008-04-23T20:08:00.000-07:00

Sunday we attended a small church in Bakersfield. There were no big screen presentations, no praise team or large choir. In fact, there were only fifty people at the most. It was a far cry from the larger and mega churches we have visited. And when I say “a far cry” I mean it was a world away. It was reminiscent of the church we loved in Kosovo, where we will be living. A group of families that came together to worship God without the fluff.

In this little church, the people were passionate, as was the pastor who brilliantly spoke on God’s truth. One lady told me, “We take our religion seriously.” You knew that for sure, because there was nothing there to distract from the focus which was God. There was nothing there that you would want unless you were focused on God. Just a few families in a small room with their bibles and hymnals praising God together.

All you really needed.

They prayed for us and invited us to their picnic in the park. We played softball, ate lunch, felt like we had found new friends. It was small, it was intimate, and it was wonderful.

Thank you Covenant for reminding us of home, in Kosovo.

Need Information

2008-04-19T20:04:00.000-07:00

To all of those who are receiving this blog whenever it is posted. Could you please just send me a quick email to imjustatool@gmail.com and let me know that you are getting this. We will be using this blog to communicate more frequently about varoius things that are going on in our lives between our newsletters.

Thanks,

Garold

Tripped Out

2008-04-16T15:27:00.000-07:00

Early in April I had the opportunity to go to Paradise, California to visit a dear friend. If you don’t know where Paradise is, than imagine the lush green hills of Northern California with its temperate weather and peaceful quietness. Of course, I had everything planned out. My directive was set and I was on the move. Just before I left, and I mean just before, my dear friend called to say she had acquired three young children she would be caring for. Wait!! Wait just a minute. I am leaving home to get a rest from my children to go visit three toddlers? Not in the deal! Whoa! But God kept me moving.
To make a long story short, nothing went as planned. But all was a true blessing from God. He had his own directive. For seven days I watched my friend in amazement with these children. I had previously felt my friend was a little bit of a push over (sorry my dear friend!), but the heart of this woman was demonstrated as pure love. Through all her emotions I watched her day after day. When angry, she would question what she could have done to be more patient. When she was patient, she asked how she could be even more loving, and when she was loving, she glowed like a light. With quiet strength, all things were handled. Before my eyes I saw a wondrous example of the woman God would like me to be. And in her humility, I had to bow lower.
My friend’s mother is fighting cancer but in a different way. She has decided not to go the route of chemo and radiation. She is in her 70”s. In my visit, she demonstrated courage in her decision. She made me happy just to be around her strength. She never drew attention to her illness or made me feel like she thought it was overtaking her life. I know she must be scared but she never made that an issue to be dealt with for others. She made me laugh in her hard times.
The last thing was I had the opportunity to meet many missionaries and missionary families. One young lady had just come back from Beiriut where bombings had destroyed the learning center where she and her husband worked. She talked about her desire to go back but her need for the rest from fear. Other ladies were missionaries that had gone to the field before I was even born; great ladies that saw the work in much harder times than most missionaries see today. They weren’t overly proud about their experiences. They were the voice of calm. It’s odd. There was a bond of understanding that brought me together with all these women.
I’m back home now, settling back into the old routine. However, I have changed by all of these great women that touched my life. I have more good examples. A better vision of what success for a woman under God really is. And a more willing ear to hear what God has planned for me.

From Poppies to Provisons

2008-04-08T11:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we get so busy with our everyday lives we forget to take time to see all of the really cool things that God has given us to look at. Over the weekend, we voyaged out to see the famous Antelope Valley Poppies in full bloom. Linda and I have lived out here for almost fourteen years, and I was the one who had never been out to see the poppies. What a beautiful sight! It was kind of sad that Linda was not with us when we went. She was up in a place called Paradise visiting a close friend, and when I talked to her she was feeding the local deer. I was kind of jealous as I love to see deer up close.

I am reminded of how God created everything for us to enjoy, and we forget to take time to just see what He has done. Yes, He even created Woman! That was probably one of the best things I think he did for us men, other than the cross. Linda has been gone for the past week and I was able to take care of my children while she was gone. I so much enjoyed the time with them and know why she loves to homeschool them. You really get to know who they are when you spend lots of time with them. I really see how much a wife is needed in a man's life. God saw that man had no companion so He created the woman. At times I forget how much she does for our family and how selfless she is. We pick her up today and it will be good to have her home. Thank you, Father, for knowing what we need to get through each and every day.

2008-03-31T12:16:00.000-07:00

Loose Change and Encouragment

2008-02-11T17:29:00.000-08:00

To all of those who get this blog via email, I have to apologize for not posting on a frequent basis. I have been sending out a few monthly newsletters and that has taken some of my time, but we will have a web site up and running soon. Have you ever been encouraged by pennies and other small coins??? I really never had until a friend of ours at church got permission to have a Koins for Kosovo day to help us with some of our fundraising. People were asked to bring in thier loose change last week and it would go towards our outgoing costs. The people in our church really responded to the call. They brought in just over $1,108.00. That is alot of coins!!!!!! We are now at almost 60% of our outgoing fund and righ at 30% of our monthly pledge support. Every penny that comes in helps so much and we are truly thankful. I remember starting our fundraising and thinking that there is no way that this is going to happen and when I have let God do His work i can truly see the wonder of His love.

On a personal note, I have been truly encouraged by several people over the past month. One of which went home to be with the Lord last week. Alan Hersey was his name. As a Elder with my church, we often visit people to see how they are doing and to pray with them. Alan was dying from cancer and only had a few weeks to live, but he was not worried about himself. He was praying for others and he told me that he was praying for me. His statement made me cry. This last Sunday I had the opportunity to go to his house and serve him communion. It was going to be a challenge as he was on a feeding tube. When I served him, he joyfully took the bread and ate, as well as drank the juice. After we prayed together, Alan looked up at me, smiled and gave a quick wink that sparkled, his way of letting me know all was well with him. Then his daughter Diana took me into his shop and showed me a book that Alan had been keeping. She opened the book up and inside of it was maps and information about Kosovo. Diana turned to me and said, "
See, my dad really was praying for you." That will stay with me for the rest of my life. It reminds me of Jesus on the cross ready to die for us and yet, he was still thinking of others. I was asked by his family to speak at his funeral and was so humbled by the experience.

A good friend that use to go to our church has moved back and is now teaching a Sunday School class that I am really enjoying. Even today I spoke to a total stranger at the community college who gave me that extra lift. We only spoke for a few minutes, but in that time I found out that this college professor and her husband had been missionaries. She said that she would pray for us! I have to tell you what a charge you get when people say they will pray for you and you can tell they really mean it.

To top the day all off, I get a call from a new member of our church that is inviting us to dinner this week. I came to find out they were missionaries in Turkey and Albania. I really do believe that God places people in your path to help strengthen you. From pennies to people -what could be better!

Its now 2008

2008-01-02T20:14:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the start of a new year; one that we pray will change our lives by moving our family to Kosovo. Many people make resolutions this day and will see if they can keep them throughout the year. At the beginning of last year, my family and I were talking about how we can be better servants to the Lord, but going to Kosovo was not on the list. God has proven to be so faithful this past year to our family, and we really look forward to see what will transpire this year. He has brought so many people into our lives to help us, and we have been so blessed by the outpouring of love that we have received.
Being human, one often wonders if anyone really cares about someone other than themselves and at times you can get caught up in this thought. Then God, being God, puts that thought to rest by providing a faithful person who will be there to pray for you, support you, and just love you because you are one of His children. Our God is so awesome and if you make only one resolution this year make God first in your life and it will change you forever.

It's In The Giving

2007-12-24T14:05:00.001-08:00

Again this year I had the privilege of setting up a gift giving project with a center here in Rosamond that deals with the very poor. However, this year we did it with a twist. Because we had so many children with needs to be met, we went directly to the Marines involved with Toys for Tots at Edwards AFB. On top of that we were able to gather some children from the Edwards Homeschooling group to help pick out the toys.

I am used to seeing the happy faces of children receiving unexpected gifts, but I was overwhelmed by the joy and love I saw on the faces of the children that were picking out toys to be given to someone else.

As adults, we have the tendency to make everything complicated, but this year these special children said it all. The true gift of the season is in the giving. Merry Christmas to all and may we remember that the greatest gift given was the life of God’s Son, Jesus. Without that gift we would have nothing.

Family

2007-10-06T10:41:00.000-07:00

The following is from Dave Hungerford who is Linda's son. As we are preparing to do Gods work overseas, life still goes on here at home. We were so touched by this we thought we would share it.

A Moments Cry

I find myself at a loss of words, yet is seems there is still so much to be said about this moment of our lives, this chapter that brings so much fear about turning the page.

My heart fell from the sky the moment I heard my high school sweetheart, dearest wife and the absolute love of my life had breast cancer and yet we faced the necessary surgery with the greatest of optimism knowing that God is in control. I told myself "it will be all right".

Things suddenly became worse when after the test results of the biopsies performed during surgery revealed that the cancer was much worse than we had first imagined and much more radical surgery would be required.

It's all about moments, and when we look back at the moments of our lives they seem so small, moving away from us so fast that many times our spirit fails to catch the blessings of what they are. Yet the fact remains that those tiny little moments are lost forever to never be retrieved again.

It's this very moment right here and now, this tiny little moment that seems so huge in comparison to the things around me. This tiny little moment that resonates through my soul. My God, My God how do I find the blessings here? How do I align my head and my heart to the things I know to be true?

I cry out to the world around me but my words echo back with the everlasting truth that I cannot change the things of now or tomorrow any more than I can change the moments of yesterday.

I want to stop the ride and hold her in this moment together cherishing the many things we have grown so much to love in the life we have together, but the moments slip from my grasp one after another like trying to catch the wind in my palm.

And more disturbing are the questions posed about the things that are revealed as I peel back the layers of my heart to reveal the truth of what resides inside of me.

Is this my faith?

How do I reconcile the voice of fear and anguish that is quaking inside of me? And how selfish it seems to ask "what will become of me?" or to think of the things I may loose at a time when her suffering is so much greater than mine.

Is this my love?

How do I reconcile the fact that at a moment when I should be thinking only of her, my thoughts bring me back around to how I am suffering?

My God, My God I cry out for you to change the things in me that allow me to feel angry at you for stealing the blessings that you have so graciously provide and in which I am so little worthy.

How I grip them with greed and spite you like a little child and say "those are mine". Yet I know full well that they never belong to me. Yet still I am over come with the selfishness in my heart that reveals the true nature of what I have become.

Where do I go from here father?

How do I turn the page and face the moments of my greatest fears and allow you to be the navigator of the things to come? How do I find the trust I need in knowing that you know where this needs to go and why that's the best for all things.

How do I find peace in understanding all the things we could possibly gain when all I can hear in my mind is "what if we loose?"

Running

2007-09-27T17:42:00.001-07:00

I just got back from a short run aka semi fast jog. I am not very fast compared to most runners but with practice I am sure that will improve. While on my jaunt I was talking to God and wondering why am I doing this to my 41 year old body. It hurts! I want to stop halfway into my trek but then the question came to my mind. What if Jesus would not have finished? Where would we go when we die? Surely if He could make it carrying a cross while having been almost beaten to death, I can make it one more mile. The writer of Hebrews tell us in chapter 12 vs1 … let us lay aside every weight and sin which so easily entangles us and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.. Where are we at in our daily walk with God. What is weighing us down.

2007-09-21T19:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning Genc boarded a place for Kosovo with excitement and sadness. On one hand he was going back to his home and family and on the other hand he was leaving a new family. Our time with Genc was one of great joy and we are so glad that we were able to learn about the Albanian culture from this young man. His time here was spent learning our culture and growing in his own walk with God. Now that he has left we really need to focus on making the plans to get to Kosovo. One thing that happened recently is that the board of AIM "Association of International Missions"approved my application to serve in the office in Kosovo. I will be telling more if this in the future as to what I will be doing for AIM. We also had the opportunity to speak to our church last Sunday night. Genc did a awesome job sharing his testimony with the church. It was so powerful! You could really see that he touched the hearts of those that listened. Please pray that he will continue to share his faith with those that will listen.

Prescott Visit

2007-09-11T18:13:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday we had the wonderful opportunity to visit a church in Prescott Arizona. Pastor John Perry invited us to speak at his church during the morning service. Genc and I were able to share our testimonies with the church. I was so proud of Genc for being able to give his testimony in front of a large crowd. He has such a powerful testimony on how he became a Christian and what it was like having grown up in a Muslim country. I believe that his testimony can be heard on the Alliance Bible Churches web site. I had gotten to know John from a vision trip to Kosovo 2 years ago when my life was changed. It was so good to see him and talk about our trip. It is such a blessing to see Genc stepping out of his comfort zone and how God is using him here in the states and we are excited to see how he will be used when he returns home.

Saturday with family

2007-08-20T17:13:00.000-07:00

We were invited by Linda's oldest son Jim and his family to spend a day out in the desert riding quads and motorcycles. We had a absolute blast. It was the first time that Genc, Christian and Ashley had been riding. If you just look at the photo below of Ashley you can see how happy she is. She told me as I was taking this picture that we had to get one of these!!!!

Genc is here on a quad and he had the time of his life. He said that he could have rode all day and not get tired. As soon as we were done and on our way back to Jim's house he was out like a light.Now for me. Here I am on a YAMAHA 450F!!!!!!!!!!!! This bike is really fast and handles like a dream. Why am I so enthusiastic about this. I used to race and riding was the only thing that I really enjoyed to do for fun. I spent alot of time on bikes and did a lot of crazy things that could have killed me. I think that I had more fun than anyone else did. It was fun while it lasted and I am glad that none of us got hurt.

First Church Visit

2007-08-19T20:16:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday my family and I had our very first opportunity to speak to a Sunday School class about our mission. We traveled about seven hours north of where we live to Paradise Alliance Church in Paradise, CA. We stayed with a friend of ours Valarie Carey pictured here with Linda. She was member our our church here in Rosamond but had retired and moved to Paradise last year. Valarie traveled to Kosovo with Linda and the Kids last year and is heavily involved in Missions. She asked her Sunday School class if we could talk to them and also have Genc share his testimony. It went really well. This is the first time that Genc has shared his testimony in front of a group of people. During that trip we also went to San Francisco to see the Golden Gate bridge. It was only about a hour and half away from Paradise and seemed like a fun thing to do. Traffic was a bit heavier than expected so it took us a little over five hours to get there but it was well worth it. Genc was really amazed at how big it was compared to seeing it on tv. Here is a photo of Genc and Christian at the bridge.. Thank you Father for allowing us to be your tools.

2007-07-31T04:39:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday morning a friend of ours from GEM came to Rosamond for a quick visit. Her name is Michelle. She will be serving in Bulgaria. Currently she is attending Wheaton College and will have her Masters Degree in December. Michelle is on vacation and wanted to meet our family and Genc and go to church with us before she continued on her way. We ask that you pray for her and her fundraising efforts as well.

Feeling Better

2007-07-26T20:39:00.000-07:00

I am back now from the seminar and have to admit that I did get something out of it. I was a little nervous about raising money ok so I was really nervous about it. The conference taught me that it is ok to ask people to support you. I have been chosen by God to go and serve Him and not everyone gets that calling in thier life. I must remember that everyday. I am very excited about starting my fundraising and actually started last night. My first appointment went even better than I thought it would and we now have a faith promise from them for monthly support. We have a long way to go but we truly know that God will provide us with the people He wants to be on our support team.

Genc

2007-07-26T20:16:00.000-07:00

Ok so I am a little behind on getting some photos of Genc up on this blog. He has been pretty busy since being here in the states and has had a great time so far. The photo below is of my son Christian, Genc and myself hanging out in the parking lot of the La Brea Tar Pits.

This is Genc soaking up some of the beautiful California sunshine.

Genc next to a photo of a prehistoric bear that were commonly found near the Tar Pits.

His first week he participated in our churches V.B.S. program. It was a Western Theme and that explains the scarfs. We had to get some coffee before going one night.

Genc is kind of curious and found a big yellow hat!! Now all we need is a monkey.

He had so much fun during V.B.S. He helped out with playing games with the kids and learned all of the songs by the 3rd night. It has been so cool watching him participate in the church. He does not have one at home that is close by and maybe gets to go once a year.

Travel

2007-07-18T14:36:00.001-07:00

So i'm on my way to a conference on "How to raise money" in North Carolina as part of my requirments for GEM. I was reading a book my pastor gave me on missions from the Baptist viewpoint. Most missionaries spend 2 years raising support before they go to the field and speak to about 200 churches. The average amount collected for monthly support is between 50 to 75 dollars per church. That is kind of scary!!!!!!! Plus they are living on what they raise and dragging around their families. I really hope that is not the way my fundraising goes.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

My Friend Arrives

2007-07-06T15:49:00.000-07:00

We have been really excited about having our friend from Kosovo come for the summer and on the 4th of July while we were celebrating out independance, the young man arrived. 36 hours of travel pretty much wiped him out but he was very pleased to be here. I think about this young man who has never really traveled over a few hundered miles, taking the trip of his life by getting on a plane and traveling half way around the world to see a place that he has always dreamed of. As we drove home we saw fireworks going off in the sky and he was dazzeled. The heat really hit him. It was about 115 degrees yesterday and about that today and he is trying to get used to it. Tomorrow we are going to Chinatown and the LaBrea Tar Pits. Will post some photos of our trip when we get back.

Faithful

2007-06-24T20:44:00.001-07:00

God is so good!!!! He has taken a man whom loved everything in this world and was a full sinner and has changed his heart and mind to focus on Him. I really cannot explain how much my life has changed over the past few years but that is only the beginning. The 14^th of this month my family and I were appointed by GEM to serve as missionaries in Kosovo. This I am sure will really change my life and I am so excited to see all that God has in store for us. I think that the thing I am most afraid of is not being in a foreign country but the dependence of people to support us while we serve as missionaries. I have a problem with asking people for money as I have not had to do this before and I am really freaked out by it. I am going to a class on this very subject next month and will be trained on how to raise money the right way. I think the biggest roadblock is to have people give on a monthly basis and for them to understand why it is necessary to start their support now even while we are in the states. We have to be at 100% of our support before we go anywhere. We have been told that your support will come from those that you least expect and those that you hope will support you probably won’t. This is going to be very interesting. God has brought is down this path and I know that He will bring those who want to join us and be part of our mission. We did get our first support partner tonight and I truly thank God for His faithfulness.

2007-06-10T06:09:00.001-07:00

I am sitting here in Colorado Springs, CO checking out a missionary group called GEM. The purpose of my visit it to learn more about the organization and to see if I would like to serve with them in the future. It is really interesting on how God has chosen my family and me to do mission work. When I became a Christian I really had no clue that it would someday come to this. We had a dinner last night at the home of the president for GEM and he was a really nice guy. He lives in a moderate home which in my mind shows that he does not live by world standards that bigger is better. We met about 30 people from GEM and they were all here to check my wife and me out and at the same time we are doing the same. Today we learn more about GEM and have some interviews with counselors and I am looking forward to talking to them as I have a lot of questions. God truly does miracles in our lives and I am a living testimony, as I have truly been changed and I look forward each day to what He will do in my life. I do wish that we would have been meeting with the Missions group from my own denomination and it does make me sad that the interest in us was not there but I truly find joy in the fact the God will place us where He wants to.

2007-05-24T07:11:00.001-07:00

Major disappointments occur in our lives all of the time and it is how we choose to react to them is what really matters. I have looked forward to serving in many ways that I know the Holy Spirit wants me to and one day the door will fully open and I will be able to serve in the way the I truly believe I have been called to do. I must remember that I need to focus on God at that He will never let me down or disappoint me. People may but God never will.

Life

2007-05-05T09:39:00.001-07:00

Satan is real and can really mess up your sleep schedule can’t he. He is really good at making you think that you are worthless and that no one really likes you. I wake up at night after having dreams of failures. I know that it is his doing and I often am telling him to get out of my dreams and leave me alone. I ask God to kick him out and let me get some sleep. Such a simple attack but very effective and we often do not realize that Satan wants us to fail and he will use the very simple things to cloud our vision and keep us from doing what God wants us to. I believe that he wrecks havoc in our minds when we are not on guard because it is easy. So what is my point? We must be on guard at all times even as we sleep and remember that God is always with you and He will save you from the attacks all you need to do is ask.

Parents

2007-04-07T07:38:00.001-07:00

Back in the states now reality sets in. I am back to being Dad, Husband and Ecolab worker. I really miss being in Kosovo and I think about why this is. I figure out that I really believe that God had opened a door and I need to walk thru it. Will it be easy? No. I know that God can make things happen and have pure faith that it will in the future. I really love the culture of the people one that we here do not have. Family and friendships are so important to them and I realize how much I truly miss that and how I really need that. I got a call last night from my brother that my father now had 3 months to live. Guilt sets in now from my brother on when an I going to see dad. I don’t think I will. My last visit was really great and I want to remember him as he was not as he is now. I found out that he did believe in Christ and that is all that really matters. My dad and I did not have the greatest of relationships and I wish it could have been different. I try to give my son all of the love and guidance that I feel I did not receive. I am only able to do this due to being a Christian and understanding the role of a father. I know that I will be attacked by my family for my choices and understand that this is because they do not believe as I do. I pray for them in this time that God will change their own hearts. I will miss my dad here on earth but am overjoyed that he will be in heaven.

Traveling

2007-03-28T05:44:00.001-07:00

Have you ever had one of those days when have been halfway around the world in about 12 hours? Well I’m in the middle of it. Sleeping on a plane in my opinion is one of the hardest things to do. Anyway I’m on my way back to Kosovo to serve for a week at the AIM office. I am sitting here at a Starbucks and yes they are even more expensive than in the states. The last time I was in this airport I was with a small group of Pastors and we had breakfast and got to share our testimonies with each other. Memories are really cool. This time I am by myself and I am actually enjoying it. I wonder how God is going to use me this week and I am going into my visit with no idea on what I am going to do. I like it!!! My last visit did change me and got me on track as to what God wants me to do but I really felt out of place with the group that I was with. We have to be challenged and get out of our comfort zone if we are to serve Jesus. If it seems as thought I am rambling in my thoughts it could be that I have not slept in about 24 hours and have about another 10 to go before I can sleep. In the states we freak out if you cant get online to check your email. I have not even seen a internet access point here. So I guess that this will post sometime in the future. The one thing I have to say about this airport and the people that I am watching is that everyone is so happy and friendly. How do we transplant that attitude in the states? I guess that I will have to drop the 6 bucks for the coffee before I hit the wall.

2007-03-03T06:58:00.001-08:00

During our daily devotionals this week; my family and I were reading out of the Daily Bread and we ran across one story that really hit home. It used on of my favorite movies the Bourne Identity; this movie is about a man who has amnesia, lost and is trying to figure out who he is. I spend so much of my life trying to figure out who I am and sometimes I still try. I became alive when I turned to Jesus and asked him to rule my life and did not feel lost anymore. The more we grow in Christ we lose our old life we need to spend some time to recap all of the changes that have taken place in our new life. Sometimes we forget how different our life is because we may still have issues that never went away. Only with Christ are we allowed to really see the issues, how to change them and become the person he wants us to be.

Times of Change

2007-01-27T07:49:00.000-08:00

I was viewing a movie last night it was called Fiddler on the Roof. While it is a older movie it is really well made. The main character had five daughters and was a very poor man in societies eyes but he was so rich in the fact that he had a loving family and community. He did have a relationship with God and it was very interesting the straight forward dialogue that he had with God. Being a Jew and in Yugoslavia they were being persecuted by having to move off their land. Not only he and his family but the rest of the community. We can only relate this to being here our home and have the state come in tell us that we have to move because we are Christians and do not have any say so in that matter. This happens to people everyday in this world we live in and most of us have no clue and really do not care as long as it does not personally affect us. I have seen how people in other countries live and it is so basic and refreshing. Some want to come here to the U.S. in hopes for a better life and the American dream. What is the American dream? To want and have more and have bigger and better things! If you look at our Savior and how He lived He did not live the American Dream.

How we treat women

2007-01-22T06:19:00.000-08:00

In my reading this morning I ran across a statement that said " Jesus used women in his ministry as co-leaders. That was very interesting to me. In churches today i do not think that is the case. Yes women are used but in a very limited capacity. They are able to change diapers, cook meals, assist in menial tasks ect. If you look at most women they are the backbone of the household not only doing most of the above but also set the spiritual tone for the house. Why do we treat them less than Christ did? Another observation is if you are smart and you are a female look out you are labeled dangerous. I would guess that it is mans own insecurity that leads them to not treating women as they should. One should treat their wife as Christ loved the church so why wouldn't you treat all women the same way. Is this why we have a society full of lost, mad, hopeless women? If my thinking is true I would guess that this is why churches have a hard time retaining people. They will go where they are loved; especially the women.

Early morning

2007-01-18T07:24:00.000-08:00

There I lay in bed knowing that I need to get up but it is only 4am. It is cold in the room and my children are sleeping on the floor and my wife is out on the couch as her arm is hurting again from sitting at the computer and I thank God for giving me all of this. I finally decide to get up and study on my course from the CMA an it is on Matthew. I think that we as a society have a huge problem with trying to prove others wrong as we believe that we are always right. In my reading this morning this was the case. People were trying to prove that the Disciple Matthew was not the author of this Gospel and I truly wonder how much time they wasted on this. The enemy has a strong foothold here on earth and has a hand in so much we at times really do not realize it is his doing until it is to late. Who is your daily thinking being controlled by???