Change

A few weeks ago I have to admit that I was struggling emotionally.  It had been a really quiet and depressing week for me since I had surgery and have been confined to my house.  Not a lot of people to talk other than my family " love them" for dealing with me.  I was really feeling that no one cared about me and that I was just absolutely worthless to anyone and that included my family,  I needed a change and decided that I needed to get out of my house and go into the real world for some conversation.  I voyaged down the street and started talking to God about all the stuff going on in m my mind.  About 20 minutes later I found myself at the corner shopping center and thought that I could find someone to chat with at the donut shop.  Well no one was there to chat with but I did get a nice cup of coffee.  I decided to continue to walk around the area and said hello to a few people but did not get a response from and of them.  Why did no one want to even say hello? The feeling of worthlessness just kept getting worse.  Moping along with my head held low I kept looking at the ground in hopes that I would find some change.  (one of the quirky things I do) When I focused on something other than myself I found a penny! That one penny turned into a nickel, then I found 20 cents!  It was a great find but that did not take the place of conversation.  I decided to walk home and within a minute I ran across a guy pushing a shopping cart.  Cool I will talk to him!  As we met he moved over to one side and told him that it was to ok there was plenty of room.  He responded in Spanish.  He began to tell me that he was working. He was collecting cans from the dumpsters and needed to because he lost his eye and no one would hire a one eyed man.  The thing that tripped me out was he said all of this in Spanish and we carried on a small conversation.  I had not used my Spanish in a while but it just rolled off my tongue. The thing I so needed was found in a man who had nothing, who took time to talk to me, who could give nothing back but the love of Jesus. Why do I say this? He told me that Jesus loved me.  As he walked away I remembered that everything is not about me.  The change I needed was a change of my own heart.  This was confirmed as I continued on my way home and I found one more penny.  It takes just one thing to change someone.